Chronicles of Running: Week 3.2 (Burdens & Blessings)

My second running day last week was challenging in a different way. Brandon and Calvin were in Denver for the day, so it was Luke (7 months old) and me. I really wanted to run and take advantage of the nice weather, so I did something kinda crazy. I put Luke in the jogging stroller and off we went. It was so hard. I had taken for granted the fact that when it was just me, all I had to think about was...well, me. Now I was constantly checking to make sure his blanket wasn't falling, the sun and wind were not in his face, the bumps weren't too bumpy, he didn't fall out when we were going downhill. Not to mention the tremendous difficulty it was to push him (and more significantly, the extremely heavy stroller) uphill. I love Luke as much as I can possibly love a human being, but he was, without a doubt, a burden and an obstacle to a smooth and simple run.

So, it made me really begin to think about the burdens and baggage we carry with us. I believe that some of the burdens we bear are not by choice and may even be necessary for a bigger purpose. Sometimes God calls us to walk through a desert season ourselves so we can truly, and with clarity, appreciate the refreshment of the rain. Other times we are asked to bear burdens with one another. This can be such a noble opportunity with great rewards or most likely will go unnoticed. In any case, burdens usually have a negative connotation but by definition, are not necessarily bad. Hard does not always equal bad.

Then, there is the unnecessary baggage that we choose. It does not benefit us or anyone around us. It creates obstacles in our relationships and inhibits us from opening up, being honest and trusting others. It keeps us in bondage to our pasts and perhaps even to people who have hurt us. The great thing about this negative burden-carrying is that it's a choice, and we have the power to change it. We have the option to put it down and walk away from it. We have to learn to discern between what is a profitable and productive burden to bear and which burdens are useless and counter-productive if we continue holding onto them. 

My third run of the week was baby and stroller-free, and I appreciated it more than I could have ever imagined. Once we have carried something around for a long time, and it's heavy and difficult to manage, we even get used to it and forget that we might be crumbling under the weight of it. That makes the freedom of releasing it so much sweeter and more satisfying. A lighter burden or none at all enables us to walk in freedom and live our lives the way we are meant to live them. 

As I ran, feeling freer and lighter, I noticed that I was focusing on the ground in front of me. I have this spectacular mountain view right in front of me, and I'm looking at the ground. By the time I realized it and began to focus my attention upward to take advantage of the scenery, trees and houses were blocking my view and I had missed my chance.

With this experience I felt a warning for the burden-free times, as well. When things are easier and seem to be going my way, I lose sight of my need for God. I begin to let my focus drift and become lazy. Sometimes the hardest times to be intentional about focusing on the Rock is not when things are difficult, but it's when they are calm and simple. This is the most important time for me to battle complacency and fight to depend on Him, especially when I feel like I can do it on my own. Timing is everything, and if we wait until there are too many obstacles to block our view of Him, then it can take a lot of time, energy and maneuvering to regain focus where it should have been all along.

So, here's what I get to look at when I run...just one example. My husband posted a similar picture from the same path earlier this week, and it's just funny how your environment (and the work of a magnificent Artist) can inspire you to do things you never thought you would. 

Chronicles of Running: Week 3.1 (Trailblazing)

I love this running program, because it's reasonable and doable. I only have to manage to run three times a week. There was only one delay this week due to weather, so I was easily able to get my three days done. It continues to amaze me what God is teaching me and how He is opening my eyes to new truths (or refreshing old ones) through each run.

I set out for my first run on Monday. With each new week, the program increases the time you spend running, so being my third week, I was a little nervous and intimidated by the fact that it would get tougher. Thankfully, the weather was absolutely gorgeous. I headed out on a different trail with sunshine on my face and not even a breeze in the air...just the wonderful, refreshing cool crispness that makes being near the mountains so glorious. Although I was very thankful for such a beautiful morning, I began to consider the rarity that perfect conditions, such as these, really were. As is life. Just like the weather, with most conditions in life we have no opportunity to contribute our desires or opinions about what should occur whatsoever. The obstacles and challenges in our daily lives tend to come up unannounced and most certainly unwelcome. Yet, we have no choice except to face them and deal with them the best we can. The conditions of our relationships are definitely fifty percent our responsibility, but we cannot (as much as we wish we could) determine how others act or react towards us. So many circumstances are truly beyond our *gasp* control.

As I have shared with numerous counseling clients in the past, it is usually helpful to focus on what is within our control, rather than what isn't. If we zero in on things about which we can do nothing, it ends in feelings of helplessness and frustration. However, when we choose to accept those things we can't control, focus on what we can do (and do it!), then much more positive results will most likely occur. (Sound familiar? The Serenity Prayer is such a simple, and yet so powerful, concept.)

If there is one thing on which I would most want to focus, when it comes to conditions within my control, it's the condition of my heart. This is something that is up to me, and I've seen ugliness that I didn't realize I had in me, as well as compassion beyond my understanding. The common thread is this: the more time I have spent in the Word and at the feet of Jesus, the more loving words and patient responses emerge. The less time I have spent meditating on His goodness and truth, the more short and on edge I am with everyone around me. If I find myself with a short fuse, I can almost always stop and ask myself if I've had my quiet time and prayed that day and know what is needed. The condition of my heart...my responsibility, God's ability to make it what it needs to be.

Accepting what I can't control is anything but easy. It requires being vulnerable and putting my faith and trust in something outside myself. During my Monday run, as I was on a new path, it was both fun and adventurous but also unfamiliar. I came to a point of decision and had a choice to make. The little lady on my app said "You are half-way." (which always seems like I should be way more than half-way :) So, I could turn around and go back the way I came, confident that I would know the way and not get lost...those of you who know me at all, know that is a huge feat. Or, I could keep going, blaze a new trail and choose not to take the safe, familiar path. I forged ahead and met a steep hill but also a great sense of accomplishment. I even ended up back at my starting point at the right time, and it worked. Even if it hadn't worked, I still think I want to be a person who takes risks and doesn't just stick to what's easy and safe all the time. Toward the end of my run, I even got a shot of adrenaline by having to jump across some gigantic cement cylinders because I could see where I wanted to be and it was the only way to get there. There is absolutely something to be said for being willing to do something new and different even when it's uncomfortable.

Chronicles of Running: Week 2 (Life Lessons)

As I was leaving for my run one day this week, Brandon said "Run hard, think little." Ironically, that's just not quite how I operate. My plan was to 'survive, and think about everything I could to take my mind off the running part'. There are so many life lessons that can be extracted and paralleled with running and I don't want to miss them! There was still ice and snow on the ground but it's mostly gone. I saw this part of the ice that had begun to melt and it formed a perfect heart. It was an instant reminder to me of God's love for me. I love the way that He speaks through nature and there are signs of Him everywhere if we choose to look. It is such a beautiful illustration of how God melts away the coldness and cleanses the dirt in our hearts, and He is the only one who can.

I have a vague plan in my mind of where I will run each time, and it's always different. This is another 'keep my mind off the actual running part' tactic. If I'm thinking about which path I will take, then I'm distracted from my aching muscles and shortness of breath. I found a path that I love, so I try to incorporate it into my run somehow. I love that it's not a street but a trail and that it has a gorgeous view of the snow-covered mountains. The only problem I have found with it is that it's uphill. So, one day I was contemplating running the route backwards so I could go downhill. This brought about some problems. If I was running in the other direction, I missed the view. Also, I usually like to challenge myself, so did I really want to go the opposite direction so it would be easier? Then, my sister-in-law said something that I hadn't considered before. If you end up where you started, then the amount of uphill and downhill you go is the same. That's true, and it's like my relationship with God often goes. In the end, I'm going to end up in the same place, but how I get there is a result of the choices I make. If I choose the easier, for the moment, route, then it may take longer to get there and I might really miss out on some things along the way. If I go downhill, then I miss the view. If I avoid the obstacles in my path, then I miss out on what God wants to teach me through the struggle. Eventually, I'll get there, but in the end, the path may be longer and more painful. Sometimes a short steep hill is really the best way and worth the temporary pain to obtain an eternal perspective.

I have a friend whose husband was running his first 5K race. Her dad (his father-in-law) was there to see it and made an interesting comment to him after the race. He said "You still had a lot of gas left there at the end. Are you sure you ran hard enough?" Hearing this made me contemplate how I run my race in life everyday. Am I really giving it all I've got? Do I make the most of every opportunity or do I squander time and resources. If so, what am I saving up for? At the end of our race, whatever we have left is wasted, because we don't get to take it with us. What an inspiration to live every day to the hilt and to 'leave it all on the track' at the end of every day. This is my hope and prayer...that I will truly live each moment, not passively, but passionately. That I will truly love the precious people God has given me to love, not just sufficiently, but sacrificially. That I will truly serve my Savior and take every thought, word and action captive for His glory, not for the recognition, but for the reward to which I have been called to receive.

"Do you not know that in a race, all runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it." 1 Corinthians 9:24

Chronicles of Running: Week 1 (from someone who is NOT a runner)

For some reason, unbeknownst to me, my wonderful husband and I decided that we would start running. People in Colorado are healthy and fit, so maybe we should try to be healthy and fit. People here like the outdoors, so let's start a running program with no gym membership. It will be ok that it's the middle of winter in the mountains of colorful Colorado. The scenery will be beautiful as we gasp for air at this new altitude where our bodies are not yet acclimated. Ok, that's all a bit extreme. But, seriously...I'm not really sure what we were thinking, or if thinking had any part at all in this decision. It's actually working out better that you might think. Here are some reasons why and also some comical happenings from my first week of C25K (couch to 5K).

One way I know we are adjusting to the climate and altitude of our new home is because when Brandon checks the weather, these are our determinants of whether or not it's a 'running day': the temperature must be in positive double-digits, it cannot be snow-ing (snow and ice on the ground makes no difference). That's about it. I realized this, suddenly, when we had been indoors for two days due to lots of snow-ing and below zero temperatures. The next morning, he looked at his weather app on his phone and said "Hey, it's going to be 29 degrees today. That's running weather!" Really? Since when?!

My first week of my program has consisted of alternating between walking and jogging. On my C25K debut, my first mistake was my sweat pants. They were too long and actually kept falling down while I ran, so this was a mistake I will not repeat. I now understand why real runners wear clothes that fit well, stay up and don't drag on the ground. Sweat pants are for lounging, not jogging. Blooper number two on my first workout: mistaking ice for water. Yep. I totally busted on the ice. Thankfully, it was during my walking time or it could've been much worse. I landed on my hip and elbow, but other than a little soreness, no damage done...except my pride. I quickly got up and looked around, though, and I don't think anyone saw it. Other than that, I survived the first run. It took me back to my high school days of getting in shape, feeling the burn in my muscles and lungs, but it felt good.

My second run was a vast improvement over the first. It was much easier with glorious sunny weather, although I definitely was still dancing around snow and ice...just more carefully. I didn't fall. I wore better suited clothing for the occasion. I did forget a headband and dealt with bangs in my eyes the entire time, so that was annoying. I also somehow ended up in the middle of school pick up for an elementary close by. I now know to avoid the cul de sac and street where, I now know, lots of parents park and wait to pick up their children around 3pm. The last thing I need, as I navigate this newfound adventure, is an audience.

Today was day 3, end of the first week of training. (There are eight weeks total.) Today was epic, and it's difficult to describe why. Maybe it's the Winter Olympics in Sochi or the fact that Rocky movies have been on for the past couple of days. Perhaps it was the heavy fog, temperatures in the 20's (felt like the teens), or the treacherous snow and ice I'm still navigating. I'm convinced it may never go away completely. I'm working on my playlist, and so my music still wasn't quite right, but I felt invincible. I loved the challenges that the trail presented and felt completely capable of overcoming them. I don't really plan out my path, but I just go and know I will eventually make my way back home. Today I ended up on a wide trail that had back yard fences on one side and a big wide ditch with quite a bit of brush on the other. I was feeling good, finishing up my workout, when I saw what looked like cat paw prints in the snow. Then, I saw different prints...bigger. I began to look more carefully and suspiciously at the thick brush for signs of wildlife. I mentally prepared for what I would do if charged by a mountain lion or some other wild animal. Now, as I write about it, I can laugh and know how ridiculous it sounds, but all of the sudden I wasn't feeling quite so invincible anymore. I was, however, feeling like I could probably run faster at the end of my workout than I ever dreamed I could.

So, in summation of my first week of 'running', if you can call it that, I already have a handful of lessons I'm learning. I am really beginning to understand why our lives can be compared to running a race in the Bible. The scripture that Calvin and I have been memorizing is found in Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witness, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." I'm learning that there are countless parallels we can draw that apply to running and life. We must be prepared. When we fall, we must get back up again and keep going, even if it hurts. We can't make excuses, because there will always be 'reasons' to not do the hard stuff. There will be obstacles, and in order to maneuver them, a different route may be required, so be flexible. (This is not easy for me...at all.) There will be days when we feel inspired, and those are moments to be embraced. But during the times when we don't 'feel' particularly ecstatic, we must continue to persevere so we can gain the reward at the end. Even if we finish a run, or a day, and it looks sloppy and didn't turn out at all like we planned, we can say we finished. Then, we get a new chance to try again. I'm so thankful for fresh starts, new mercies and second chances. When I see ALL of the white snow, I can't help but think of God's grace and how it beautifully covers the ugliness of my sin and breathe a huge sigh of relief. He's definitely doing something new in me, and I'm full of gratitude.