Honoring a Legacy

Our school administrators choose a theme for each school year that we focus on together. We emphasize it, memorize scriptures that remind us of it and teach our students (and ourselves) how to live it out in their everyday lives. This year that theme is honor.

I have been wanting to write this blog for a couple of weeks, and at the same time wanted to avoid it. The first day of school this year (with students) was Thursday, August 20th. This was my oldest son's first day of kindergarten. It was my husband's first day of a new teaching job, after being out of the classroom for 10+ years. It was the first day of my second year as an elementary art teacher. That seemed to be enough to keep us occupied, but on the contrary, a couple of other life-altering events occurred for us in that same week...one of which I'm finally ready to share through writing.

Earlier that week, I got a call from my mom and she told me that my grandmother had gone home. Although she had been in the hospital and recently moved to a nursing home, I still don't think anything prepares you for that call. Soon after, we found out that the services would be held Friday morning, August 21st. After making arrangements to miss the second day of school, it was all I could do just to wait to get home and hug my mom. 

We had a beautiful, sad, wonderful time celebrating Patty's life with family and friends over the weekend. My mom sang Amazing Grace at the graveside service (beautifully and without flaw). My big brother shared a beautiful message at the memorial service about the things about life he learned from Patty and some sweet memories. We looked at pictures and shared stories with my parents, uncle, aunt and cousins. It would have made Patty so proud and given her so much joy to know that she brought us together again for a very special time.

It wasn't until after I got home that God began bringing some sweet stories to my mind about Patty that I hadn't thought about in a while. In order to honor her memory and legacy, I want to share two of them with you now.

The first is most recent. When she fell and had to go to the hospital earlier in the summer, mom discovered some relatives that she didn't know. Patty had a cousin in Arizona who called her to check in from time to time. When Patty was in the hospital and her cousin could not reach her, he became worried and didn't know what happened. His daughter contacted my mom and Patty and her cousin were reunited through a phone conversation once again. He told her that his wife had cancer and was going to die soon. When he couldn't reach Patty, he thought he had lost her, too. He confided that he felt very alone. My sweet grandmother, who always had a positive and encouraging word for anyone the Lord put in her path to minister to, reassured him that she loved him and that God loved him and that he was going to be ok. I was so sweetly reminded that we always must be ready to answer God's call to minister to those He puts in our lives by simply sharing the words He gives us to say. 

Another story that came to mind is one from much longer ago. When I was in Junior High, I was going to a friend's house for lunch one day and my mom came to tell me that Patty had a stroke and was in the hospital. I didn't really understood what it meant, but I could tell it was serious. Once she was stabilized in the hospital, she was very scared and couldn't remember anything. I cannot imagine the fear she was experiencing or what was going through her mind in those moments. With tears in her eyes and the inability to recognize the loved ones standing around her, she picked up her Bible and said "He loves me so much." What faith. What incredible trust. What an awesome God we serve. His Word was planted so deeply in her heart that no physical attack could remove it. She knew nothing else, but she knew that her Jesus loved her and that He was with her. What a beautiful testimony it has given me. In any circumstance, no matter how scary or bleak it may seem, we can always be assured that God loves us and stand on that truth. It is enough.

I miss my grandmother and think of her often. I am so happy that she gets to be with the Father she spent her life serving. I am glad she is no longer in pain, struggling on this earth with all that comes along with a cursed world filled with hurt and sin. Mostly, I am thankful that she left a legacy of love, faith and family. She was one of the strongest women I knew, and it inspires me to be strong too, and mostly to depend on God's strength, just like she did.

The Great Rescue

This evening, as we reflected on the cross at the Good Friday service at our church, our pastor encouraged us to mourn and rejoice. He said that it is almost impossible to separate the two, because we mourn, but we do not do so without hope. So, as we spend the weekend in reflection of what Christ has done, it is important to realize its significance, without minimizing the ultimate act of sacrifice. It matters that we take a 'hard' look, in every sense of the word, at the wickedness in our hearts, which gives meaning and purpose to the heroic act of a Savior. It is equally important that we rejoice in who He is and the lengths He went to, in order to save us and make us His very own. As we talked about the meaning of Good Friday and Easter with our 4-year-old throughout the day, He knew all the right answers to why we celebrate Easter, what Good Friday represents and why Resurrection Sunday is so important. How I long for the day when both of my boys are able to better understand and embrace the meaning of The Great Rescue. I cannot imagine the hopelessness those who don't believe must experience. The most powerful word picture from the service that grabbed me was explained in a way that enabled me to feel both grief and gratitude in the same breath. He said Jesus's body was torn apart so that I may have newness of life. What truth! What grievous and glorious truth! For my good. For His glory. It is finished. May all that we, as believers, do and say on Easter weekend and always be through the lenses of the Gospel-Jesus's death and resurrection.

This song...For the Cross...listen, meditate, worship the One who gave everything.

Though our sins are scarlet

You have made us white as snow

The Center of His Love

I was running in Colorado again today, after a very long period of not running in Colorado. I remembered the hills but had blocked the altitude difference out of my memories. It was too cloudy to see the mountains, so it was kind of a tough run. Then, I heard this song. A song I have heard many times before, but this one part really struck me today:

"I’m holding on to the center of Your love"
(Monk & Neagle, All I Need)

It’s such a simple song, beautiful, full of truth and a genuine desire to know that Christ is all we need.

This one line, though, drew my thoughts toward the negative space, the opposite of what ‘the center of His love’ really is…because most often that is what tends to subtly and dangerously draw us away from Him. Why do we NOT hold on to the center of HIs love? I think a lot of times it’s because we are deceived and don’t know what that really even means.

We think that we have experienced the love of Christ in ways that are really only shadows, mirages, pretending to be something they aren’t. We pursue relationships to fulfill us and meet our needs. We chase after careers, prestige, being the best parents. We strive to attain (and maintain) the perfect home, the perfect family, the perfect life. Sure, as Christians, we attribute success to blessing and provision from God. We may even attribute failure to not enough Jesus or not being faithful in giving Him credit. In all of this, we miss the point. The center of His love is not in the gifts that He gives, but in the giving of Himself. 

As I heard this line, I was immediately reminded of missionary families we know and pray for all over the world. Far from home, with families of their own, they daily know what it means to hold onto the center of His love. They know the meaning of depending whole-heartedly on the Lord, because they have no other option. They know the risks and sacrifices of going (maybe specifically and maybe generally), but they also know the worth of living for Christ and seeing the Gospel go forth. 

Next, I was reminded of the sermon at church from two days ago. He said, “I think living in faith is harder in America than it is anywhere else.” He talked about physical idols built to gods in other places; however, the idols we have in America are usually invisible and we are frequently completely blind to them. They can be much more dangerous. This is similar to holding onto things that are weak reflections, at best, of God’s love and thinking we are actually holding onto Him. Only when what we are holding onto crumbles do we realize that it never was the real thing.

When I transitioned from the negative space of what the center of God’s love is NOT and was able to think about what it IS, I was overwhelmed with the truth of the HOPE we have in Him. In my art classes, we have been working on anchor charts from the perspective of Hebrews 6, where God’s Word tells us that our hope in Him is secure, comparing it to an anchor for the soul. That is what I think of when I think about what the center of God’s love truly is…an anchor for the soul, immoveable, unchangeable, stable and strong. Beginning in verse 13, the next 8 verses describe in great detail and with specific examples and prophecies why we can trust the certainty of God’s promises. This is real, this is what makes life worth living, and this is what I want to be holding onto, rather than a well-disguised shadow that only leaves me empty and alone.

I don’t read The Message often, but sometimes I love the beautiful words it uses to communicate scripture. Hebrews 6:18-20 says “We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek.”

Grab on with both hands and never let go, but be sure you know what you’re grabbing. 

Obsessed with Fifty Shades

Although there have been articles written, too many to mention, and obvious reasons why avoiding Fifty Shades may be a wise move, I have continued to struggle personally with why I am so obsessed with it...opposing it, that is. After quite a bit of introspective contemplation, I may have finally pinpointed the roots for my strong feelings about it.

1. So many women are obsessed with this series. The first book remained on the NY Best Sellers List for 147 weeks or something like that. At one point, the books were selling at a rate of 2 copies per second. That is just insanity. All of that leads to a simple conclusion...women are looking for something more and somehow this storyline has them convinced that they can have more. There is no way that most, maybe any, will admit that they want or need anything from the experience of reading the books/watching the movie other than entertainment. It is also impossible that what everyone gets from it is the same. It's even been labeled by some as 'Mommy Porn'. I think the motives run much deeper than the physical, though (although there is more than enough of it here). Erika (author: E L James) even says it in a interview. She talks about the way a woman wants to be taken care of and even controlled. In our culture, so many women do it all: careers, families, dinner on the table, etc. etc. etc. It is a temptation for many women simply trying to keep their heads above water to consider all needs being met and all decisions being made by a wealthy, handsome man who desires her. So, I get it, sort of. I am not saying I blame wives, moms and single women for needing an escape from life that is just hard sometimes. However, for reasons that will follow, I urge you to seek out a healthier outlet than this.

2. BDSM is falsely romanticized and deceitfully skimmed over in this series. No, I have not read the books (and will not). I have not seen the movie. You can stop reading now if that discredits, in your perspective, what I have to share. I have researched enough...remember I said I was obsessed...read reviews and watched interviews from both sides to have enough information about the details of what is included. I also have the overwhelming response of the masses on my side, when it comes to this issue. If the humiliation, pain and abuse is not apparent enough to cause those who do not practice it personally to be off-putting, then it isn't an accurate representation of what BDSM involves. It normalizes what is, in reality, a very unhealthy and abnormal relationship. It isn't a love story...love stories can happen in real life. It's a twisted fairy tale that has captured women who are willing to compromise dignity, morals and true love because it's new, different, exciting and worth it if he's cute enough, rich enough and becomes Prince Charming in the end, right? 

3. It causes me to grieve for dear ones I know and how they may be affected. I have counseled clients and have friends who have struggled with pornography addiction, BDSM tendencies, so desperate to find a submissive/dominant to meet their needs that they search on Craig's List (before these books were even written). I say 'struggle' because not one of them wanted these desires but instead fought with every fiber of their being against them. Why would any of us knowingly expose our eyes, thoughts, minds and hearts to something so potentially damaging? "It's just a movie." "It's just entertainment." Not for everyone. For those who suffer, it's saying that this is ok. It's saying that it's really not that big of a deal and it doesn't lead to abuse, rape, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts/attempts. It has a happy ending. Not true, my friends. Even if you think contributing to making this type of 'entertainment' such a success affects no one else but you...think again. It affects our culture and what is permissible. It affects our children and the kind of world they will grow up in. It affects those who have been abused and manipulated and sends the message that their suffering doesn't matter, because this is popular, so they should really be able to get over it. I physically hurt when I think about the pain this dangerous message will cause and feel helpless to prevent it. The justification that enables such atrocities is truly pathetic.

There are more, so many more reasons why I see problems with these books and movie. As I watched Erika being interviewed, she seemed like such a lovely person. She was extremely shy and a bit overwhelmed by her exploding fame in such a quick time. She apparently isn't so interested in having lots of money and doesn't really want her life to change due to the fame, although both are inevitable. She has two teenage sons whom she hopes NEVER read the books. Right there with ya, sister. My two boys will most definitely not be exposed to anything remotely close to what you have written while in my home. Neither would my daughters if I had any. She read the Twilight series, was inspired by Stephanie Meyer, did a little research and wrote a novel. She didn't expect it to amount to much. I can't help but wonder if even she is a little disappointed that 'this' is the kind of stuff people get excited about. 'This' is what people are spending their time reading and their Valentine's dates watching. It's quite a declining world we are living in and I'm a little sad to think on it for long. So I will stop there and feel a step closer to resolution of my personal feelings on this matter.