My day started with a beautifully peaceful walk in the light rain with our German Shepherd, Heidi. (It actually started with my 4-year-old having a complete an utter meltdown at 6:30am, but we will get to that later.) This is an important place where reflection happens for me...early morning in the quiet of my neighborhood. (Also, like now, late at night lying in bed with my laptop.) I began to think about the day ahead and suddenly felt challenged, inspired to look forward and press into what God has for me in the upcoming year. I want to seize the opportunities of difficult times and struggles and allow myself to be stretched and grow stronger because of them. I don't want to be comfortable or complacent. Instead, I want to be passionately pursuing the fullness of life that has been laid before me. I was challenged to really pay attention to the many ways I am blessed daily, yet I tend to overlook it. I'm so thankful my day began this way, because I was fully aware when the rest of my day absolutely blew my mind. I am going to list the ways I was blessed, simply because if I wrote out every detail of today, this post would be a novel. So, here goes...
- sipping really good coffee and watching the rain
- getting a surprise birthday phone call from an old friend
- healthy enough to go to the gym to work out (and experience MUCH pain later for it)
- getting a FaceTime 'Happy Birthday' song from mom and dad
- my absolute favorite weather....all.day.long.
- going to a place I love to 'work' with amazing women doing what I love
- receiving sweet cards from these women, whom I admire so much
- a birthday card in the mail from another sweet co-worker at my other job that I love doing with people I love and admire
- reading Happy Bday Facebook posts and text messages from sweet friends and family
- spending time with and getting extra hugs from 3 beautiful healthy children
- growing in patience as one of the beautiful healthy children decided to lose his mind and throw a tantrum...twice
- cupcakes and wine from my sweet hubby who loves me so well (with grace, patience and compassion, not just cupcakes and wine)
- dinner out with family, good food and fellowship, quality time (my love language)
- thoughtful gifts from my mom-on-law who loves me like a daughter
- rocking my daughter to sleep tonight
 Google even knew it was my birthday and honored me with a Google Doodle. It was definitely creepy at first. |
These things represent all of the good stuff in my life. I don't remember this conversation, but my husband reminded me of it. A while ago he asked me how I felt about turning 35, and I simply responded: Well, it's half-way to 70. I don't know why I said that or what I was feeling that day. Today, I can tell you that I am overflowing with joy and gratitude. I am overwhelmed by the love of my Heavenly Father for showering down on me an abundance of love and blessings from above.
There were normal, not-so-great things about today, like there are every day. There was a more clear distinction to me of how great my life is and how hard the lives are of some others around me, in comparison. Yesterday I had an amazing hair day and absolutely nowhere to go, but today...eh. Luke melted down and screamed and cried and just lost it twice, and one of those times was because he didn't want me to go anywhere ever again and wanted the two of us to just stay home and play together...forever, I guess. I sat on hold for 33 minutes with the state licensing board to check on the status of my license and when it was 4:00 and they were no longer taking calls, it just cut me off. I felt it. The enemy tried to creep in and place seeds of doubt in my mind, seeds of guilt and sadness. He tried to steal my joy. Thankfully, I have learned to recognize it and can usually prevent it from taking over. Today, he didn't even have a chance. So, moving forward into a new year, I have hope. I have peace. I have motivation. My mom wrote to me: Happy Birthday, May all your dreams come true! It just made me realize...they have! I hope and pray that each year my birthday is better than the last. Not better because of gifts or trips or experiences or anything external, but better because I am growing in the ability to have true gratitude and broaden my perspective to really appreciate what is sweet in life and what life is really all about.
John Piper's book "Don't Waste Your Life" has repeatedly come into my mind today. I don't want to waste even a moment, but I want my life to be poured out for Christ. That may look very different from day to day. While my kids are little, it means praying for and with them and teaching them to pray and about a relationship with Jesus. Some days it means ministering through counseling clients or pouring out our resources for the ministries and missionaries who are pushing the Gospel forth into unreached places. Every day it means surrendering to the only One who is worth giving your life for.
