Intermittent Fasting: Day 24

1/24/18

Things I am NOT ashamed to admit (today):

• I waited a little longer to go pick up Mollie from daycare. I love her with all my heart, but…I don't love her perfectly like Jesus does. Apparently, her entrance into the 'terrible twos' happened at 22 months old, last week. I. just. can't. I was especially not prepared for this, since both of my boys had any semblance of the 'terrible twos' when they were 3 and 4, and it has been mostly mild even then. Pray for us.
• When my 4 year old bit my 7 year old (because he growled at him), we went to have a talk. Luke was so afraid of getting a spanking. I talked to him about how important it is that he never, ever bites anyone. Then, very calmly and very much off the cuff, I simply said, "I'm not going to spank you." *Huge sigh of relief from Luke* "I'm going to bite you." *Screaming, crying, trying to get as far away from me as possible and an expression that most definitely expressed he thought his mom had lost it* Me-"Why are you crying?" L-"I don't want you to bite me!" Me-"Why not?" L-"It would hurt!" Pause for effect. Me-"Do you think it hurt Calvin when you bit him?" L-"Yes." Me-"Go apologize to your brother. I'm not going to bite you." Sometimes parenting can be quite entertaining.
• I started my fast last night before dinner, because I am going to a favorite Italian restaurant with some gal pals tonight. I am going to savor and enjoy and not count calories tonight, and I may even order dessert.

I had oatmeal for breakfast (100 calories) and a yogurt flip for lunch (180 calories). I was rocking along with my water this morning and it gradually slowed down. I am determined to meet my goal before the day ends.

I do not believe in accidents or coincidences. I guess I believe 'everything happens for a reason', while I really don't like it stated that way. It seems vague, and I think everything happens for a specific, God-ordained purpose. Today, something popped up on my Facebook feed that I shared FIVE years ago. In some ways, it discouraged me and made me think the things I was struggling with then, I'm STILL struggling with today. It also encouraged me and helped me to realize that I'm still fighting and I haven't quit. This is what it said:

It's so true. It's so simple and yet so difficult. Intentionality. That is what will make the difference between the will to make changes that will affect our health in a positive way and the choice to change nothing.

Intermittent Fasting: Day 23

1/23/18

Rhythm & Routine

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have a 22-month old who I recently sleep-trained to go to sleep on her own rather than being rocked. We have a bedtime ritual…not a long one…we go through every night and she has transitioned beautifully. When we aren't at a basketball game, the boys have a set (early) bedtime and they know the routine. In the morning, we have a certain order and way of doing things. Then, on days like today, when daddy has to leave for early morning practice at 6am, things get a little out of whack. Then, the front desk lady at daycare asks me if I am working today, because I have not yet put on work clothes or make-up. 😳 In our home, regular routines and knowing what to expect help us a lot. There is definitely still plenty of chaos, but it's manageable when we have consistency in at least some areas.

Today, I was thinking about how to apply this principle when it comes to food and eating habits. Just like kids (and adults) associate certain things with sleep and going to bed, I think we also associate certain activities with certain food/snacking/eating habits. For example, we like to eat popcorn when we watch a movie as a family. We have food to snack on and drinks when we are playing games with family or friends. I like to have something to chew or suck on when I'm watching a basketball game, because it helps with my nerves. A good habit I have finally developed is always having a water with me when I am teaching, working at my desk or driving in my car.

So, I think it would be helpful to develop some healthy eating habits that become the standard and expectation. I can associate things I do every day with the right kind of food choices. Honestly, it's a relief to not have to think about every detail of meal-planning, grocery shopping, eating and snacking. If I already know what I'll be eating, then I know what I have/need from the store and I can focus on the more important things in life-like cuddling with my kids and cheering on the basketball team we love so dearly.

I planned to go to the gym tomorrow, but I also planned to fast, and I can't do both. So, gym on Thursday it is!

Intermittent Fasting: Day 22

1/22/18

Days 19-21 are missing, because I stopped tracking and honestly, stopped caring what I was putting into my body for a few days. It was homecoming, we had a week full of injuries and illness, my parents came into town, we celebrated my dad's birthday…the excuses are endless, so take your pick. However, I'm back and more motivated than ever. Part of the reason for my fresh inspiration is due to the negative effects of eating too much junk for a few days. I felt sick to my stomach and sluggish, not wanting to do anything…even just emotionally down. I paid the price for poor decisions.

Today, I was ready to start the week out right. I had my Chobani almond coco loco yogurt flip for breakfast. I had coffee with coconut milk creamer (not nearly as tasty as the almond, in my opinion). I am currently about 10 ounces away from my water goal for the day-yay!

Between breakfast and lunch, I taught 4 classes. In two second grade art classes, we talked about and creatively brainstormed about things that inspire us. I got to share with my students how one thing that inspires me constantly is them. In a 5th grade and 6th grade art class, we talked about setting goals. They designed Chinese New Year dragon masks and wrote goals for themselves that were specific, measurable and realistic. Talk about a powerfully motivating morning…I have the BEST students.

By lunch, I was very hungry. I had a great little lunch, courtesy of Costco. I sampled it twice before giving in to purchase it. It's a prepared meal in a box with two containers. You simply open them both, mix them together and eat. You don't even need to heat it, which is a major plus for me, because what teacher has the time?! One container has quinoa and the other has artichoke and roasted red peppers with some seasonings and sunflower oil. It is delicious, filling and has a good balance of the right nutrients.

In the afternoon, I snacked on some pretzels and roasted garlic hummus and a KIND bar, drank more water and taught a 4th grade class and two 3rd grade classes. Due to my high movement Mondays, I reached my step goal for the day, too!

Dinner was salsa chicken, black beans, a little shredded cheese and some yummy green sauce. It's possible I also had a small brownie to satisfy my little sweet craving. I have finished the day 400 calories under my goal, and am feeling better already!!

I am planning to fast from dinner tomorrow (since I'll be at a basketball game cheering on the Runnin' Lions!) until dinner on Wednesday, when I will go to a favorite local Italian restaurant with some dear friends from my Gospel Community at church for a girls' night out! Still all about the planning and preparation.

Hopefully back to the gym on Wednesday morning at 5am, if I can get myself in bed at a decent time...

Intermittent Fasting: Day 18

1/18/18

Balance. This is what I need, what we all need. With food, yes. Also in other areas of life, like family, work, physical exercise, fun, rest and relationships. I think especially with media and entertainment, we have to find a balance or the consequences prove to be catastrophic. Brandon and I are very balanced in the form of shows we watch. We watch a very intense show (The Brave, This is Us, The Crown) and always follow it up with a lighter one (Friends, Big Bang Theory). I'm glad we have such an important aspect of our lives figured out. I'm sure the rest of the areas will work out on their own.

I'm not sure if I should still be entitling this 'Intermittent Fasting', because I'm not really sticking to the plan. It's still a journey and I'm committed to documenting what I'm learning. It just looks a little different than I expected.

One thing I have already begun to see gradually changing is my appetite. Portion control is something I have struggled with for a long time. If something tastes really good to me, I become more about quantity rather than savoring and enjoying it. Lately, I've been much more satisfied with much less. I've been so much more aware of what I'm putting into my body. That doesn't mean I never eat anything with bad stuff in it. I think awareness is powerful, though, and it definitely causes me to be slower to indulge and sometimes partake at all, if I know something is packed with calories or sugar or simple carbs. The 80s commercials were right—knowledge is power. I more often crave things that are healthy and taste good to me. I've taken the time to get more adventurous and find things that I like and don't have to later feel guilty about eating. Even the times when I have returned to old comfort foods, they aren't as satisfying anymore. Sometimes they even upset my stomach physically. They aren't as tempting as that used to be, and I count that as progress.

The more healthy choices I make, the better I feel afterward and that feeling becomes like an addiction. It's rewarding and it turns into a cycle of thoughtful choices about what I'm putting into my body, which helps me to feel positive and gives me more energy, which makes me want to make more healthy choices…and so on.

I do want to continue with the intermittent fasting schedule, because I can see good things happening. Some of it is mental and emotional ties to food for me. Some of it is needing to be in better health physically. I can be legalistic in my personality at times, so I adopt this 'all in' mentality. It can be a good thing, or it can cause me to set unrealistic expectations and end up being destructive. I wanted to count every calorie, fast the same days every week, all day and then start back to the gym (weeks ago now). Things just haven't happened that way, because life. My kids have been sick and needed me, so I've missed work and then returned to work and been exhausted. It's right in the middle of basketball season for my coach husband. I'm the first one to say 'No excuses.' I'm also able to see these are my current realities.

Now that I have spent a couple of weeks of sticking to the plan pretty rigidly, I am ready to continue forward but with (a little) less structure. I still want to log what I'm eating, not because I'm aiming for a specific number of calories and percentage of macros. It's more to keep me aware of what I'm eating and accountable to stay within a reasonable range. This is something that is helpful so I don't lose track, which can easily happen. I still want to fast two days a week, but I'm ok with that looking different. Instead of staying within 500 calories from morning through evening, sometimes it may mean going from dinner one night through lunch the next day. I am still determined to start exercising again, and I'm hopeful that next week my family's health will lend itself to that in a more accommodating way. I don't want to exercise because I feel obligated, but it's something I enjoy and truly makes me feel better and have more energy. I'm looking forward to getting back in that routine of challenging myself…I've missed it for a while. It's also a GREAT reason to get some alone time for a working mama.

Today started out promising with my overnight oats (at least until I actually read the label…sugar and carbs, oh my—no wonder they're so good). I took a healthy lunch, which stayed in the fridge at work while I ordered Leal's with co-workers. I planned to make a healthy dinner, but when my daughter ended up in urgent care again, and I had to pick up her medication at dinner time, I also picked up dinner. My 7 year old was all but salivating over the fried chicken, mac and cheese and dinner rolls. If I had to guess how many times he said "This is SOOOOOOO good!!!" while eating, I would guess 796. I did refrain from the rolls and the mac and cheese…I just opted for the loaded potatoes instead.

To be holistically healthy individuals, it's important that we take care of our minds, bodies and spirits. It's also important that we are kind to others and kind to ourselves. The latter is usually more difficult.

Intermittent Fasting: Day 17

1/17/18

I definitely feel the pull to stop. I have not done great for a few days. I've slacked on logging, planning, sticking to the plan. drinking water. It's been a little tough. Giving up would be easy, and I have plenty of excuses ready to give. But that's not what I'm going to do. I am going to keep pressing in and moving on through the moments when I don't feel like it. I am going to prayerfully continue to seek God's strength and learning and prioritizing what matters.

I didn't eat until lunch and then I had tuna and crackers while it was blistering cold and windy outside. I had a KIND bar snack this afternoon. For dinner, I was very hungry. We had salsa chicken and it was really tasty.

I'm already mentally preparing and planning for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a good day to be a good day. And I'm ready for it!

Intermittent Fasting: Day 16

1/16/18

Here's what I've learned over the past few days that really surprised me. It has been harder for me to stay home with sick kids and eat healthy than it has been for me to go to work and eat healthy. When I grocery shop according to my expected schedule and then it changes, it throws everything out of whack. When I plan my meals for the day and then I'm at work and stuck with what I've got, I don't have to think about it. When I'm at home all day and I don't have to plan anything, I just sort of eat whatever. All of that to say…it's been a rough week. And it's Tuesday. However, I plan to go back to work tomorrow and am hopeful that it will help. I'm considering fasting, but we will see what the morning brings.

This quote was so painfully accurate to me. I love being motivated and inspired and getting in that mode…in the 'zone'. This is a great reminder that we cannot consistently depend on feeling that way. Even when we don't feel motivated, we must choose to be disciplined. That is how our goals will become our reality.

Intermittent Fasting: Day 15

1/15/18

Well, who had the two-week mark for how long I would last? I felt myself falling off the wagon a little bit today. Giving in is beginning to become more of a pattern than an exception to the rule. I'm bargaining and emotionally eating, telling myself I 'deserve' to eat whatever I want after the day I've had. It's getting pretty sad.

I spent the morning either on the phone with the health insurance company or in a doctor's office with my 22-month old, trying to figure out if she had a broken leg. After a few fun hours of that, we got home and were exhausted. I still hadn't eaten a this point. So, for lunch I ate leftover chili, which didn't have to be a bad thing, but it was. I was hungry and emotional, so I ate more of it than I should have.

Tempted to go get fast food for dinner and not cook, I was more convicted about the brussel sprouts sitting in my fridge that would soon go bad if not eaten. I found this quick, easy and delicious recipe and roasted them: Parmesan Roasted Brussels Sprouts

I just ate some brussel sprouts and they were good. Brandon got home after the kids were in bed. He didn't want just brussel sprouts for dinner—can you blame him? So, we got hamburgers from Whataburger. Here's our best effort for showing restraint: we shared the fries and milkshake instead of each getting our own!

Oh! And I didn't go to the gym, as planned this morning, because my baby girl was up and needed her momma. I have had two days of very little water. My day in a nutshell.

I am not quitting, and I am not giving up. I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning & tomorrow is a blank canvas...

If you have strategies that have helped you to not eat emotionally or to resist doing what's easy when life happens and unexpected things occur, please share them!! One thing that helps me is this. Writing about it. For the 7 of you who read this, you are a big part of my accountability, so thank you!