What I'm Learning From My Kids

This week is screen-free week, and my bright, 5-year-old rule-follower (like his mommy) has not let us forget it at home. I'm thankful his teacher and school are encouraging the students to participate, but I have to admit that I wasn't instantly thrilled at the idea. Having a newborn, emotional 2-year-old and exploring-the-limits 5-year-old has resulted in some satisfying-my-sanity 'yes, you can watch a show' moments fairly often lately. This post seems like a repeat for me that takes place annually when I am convicted about how much time I am spending on my phone, watching TV, letting my children play on the iPad, etc. The last time I wrote a post similar to this was when I was living Colorado, nursing Luke and spending every second of nursing on Facebook on my phone. I realized that I was wasting precious bonding time with my baby that I would not be able to get back. So, I (gasp) took the Facebook app off my phone. Of course, after a while, the world of technology, be it Facebook, Netflix, Words with Friends...eventually pulls me back in and once again, I am spending more time than I want to with my eyes glued to a screen.

Monday afternoon, when the boys got home from school, Luke (2) asked (as he does almost every afternoon) "Can I watch a show?" Before I could respond, Calvin (5) came running into the living room, puts his hands up and says "Wait! We Can't! It's screen-free week!" His clever brother replies "You can't, but I can." Calvin informed us that it actually includes little brothers and sisters, as well as mommies and daddies. So far, we have done pretty well this week finding other ways to spend our time. We've played more games, read more books and spent more time outside. One time in the car, while running errands, we accidentally forgot and turned on the DVD player for a couple of minutes before I remembered. I said something, causing Calvin to cover his eyes and then quickly turn off the movie.

As Brandon and I discussed it on Monday night, I told him how important it was to Calvin that we try to stick to screen-free week. We decided that when the boys aren't here or after they're in bed, we won't force ourselves to strictly adhere to the guidelines of screen-free week. However, during the day, I have really limited my TV-watching time (proving easier now that I've finished Gilmore Girls!). I've noticed an ability to connect with Mollie more and find a rhythm with her that is not as often interrupted by the distractions of the TV screen or my phone screen. Tuesday night, after the boys were in bed, we could have turned on the television, but we didn't, and it was really nice and peaceful to just sit in the quiet and be. If our 5-year-old has the discipline to say no to screen time, then surely, so can we...and we are reaping the benefits of moderation.

One thing, among many, I'm learning from my beautifully frustrating 2-year-old is about security. His love language is the same as mine: quality time. Unfortunately, with a new baby in the house, our one-on-one time has been limited. He senses this, and even though he doesn't understand it, it's just hard. He LOVES his baby sister. Tonight at church, he introduced himself to a complete stranger who asked his name as "big brudder". He holds no visible resentment toward his sister, although he did tell me this afternoon that he did NOT want her to eat! I'm fairly certain he holds it more against me than her.

What it's teaching me is that it's ok to want to feel secure in the love of those with whom we do life. It's ok to feel insecure and seek comfort from those who care for us. It's most important to find our true identity and security in Christ. For me, it's painstakingly evident when I'm not doing that. For Luke, he doesn't completely know how to do that consistently, but it's something I want to intentionally teach him. He understands and perceives way more than I realize sometimes.

Finally, what I'm learning from my youngest, 7-week-old, only daughter. There are so many things, too many to write about here. The one thing that stands out and is accurately represented by this picture is that sometimes we need to cry, we need to take a moment and be emotional and we need to be comforted without feeling like we have to have it all together, be strong or pretend we're ok, when we're not.

She has to be held, like all the time. It's exhausting and frustrating and just plain annoying. I'm not worried that she will be spoiled...she's a baby, not a manipulator. I want to feel like, in a tangible way, that I have accomplished something each day. Sometimes it's difficult to feel that way when I have held her and fed her and changed her (and sometimes managed to feed myself and get dressed), and that is all I've done all day. I understand that this is my main job right now, that I shouldn't feel guilty about getting nothing else done, blah blah blah. It's just increasingly hard to sit and look at a house that needs to be picked up and cleaned and organized and literally just look at it while I sit. all. day. long.

So, while I'm sure Mollie had every right to cry about being stripped down naked, put in a basket, with a bow bigger than her head, I think it reminds me that it's ok to be frustrated with circumstances I can't control. It's important to remember that it's temporary. It's pertinent to treasure the moments that are already passing by much too quickly. Rarely, if ever, will I have the opportunity again to sit and hold my babies, just because they need me. 

I am so thankful for my children and all that the Lord is teaching me, through them, each and every day.

*These pictures were taken by the talented Stacie Stine, whose style I love, as it captures the every day, natural rhythms of life.

Ah-mazing Veggie Enchiladas

Last Sunday, when my boys were napping and I was meal-planning and grocery-list-making, I had a few objectives. I wanted to plan dinners that were healthy, not too many ingredients (in other words, cheap!), delicious and filling and kid-friendly (I'm not a fan of making one meal for adults and another meal for kids, if I can help it). That's not too much to ask, right? Now, it is Saturday night and I have made all the meals I intended to make except one. I think this week was a success. The dinner we had tonight was so good that I couldn't wait to share it! I can't tell you how it warms my heart to see my kiddos loving Mexican food.

I will share the recipe/ingredients from the source and also share what I used and did differently. I am not a vegetarian, so I wasn't picky about certain things. That's the great thing about this recipe. Substitutions for diet restrictions and taste preferences are easy. There's another version on the website that uses avocado and quinoa for vegans. I may just add avocado next time because...well, because it's avocado.

Black Bean Spinach Enchiladas

Check out the garden grazer, where I got this recipe!

Ingredients
(for the sauce) Yes, you make the sauce, it's easy...I mean, I did it...and it's incredible!
3 cups organic low sodium vegetable broth
-I used 3 cups of Essential Everyday fat free reduced sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup tomato paste
1/4 cup all-purpose flour (or gluten-free flour)
2 Tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. cumin
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
-I used onion salt because it's what I had
1/4 tsp. chili powder
salt/pepper

(for the enchiladas)
15 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 cups of corn (which is a can, I measured it)
6 oz. fresh baby spinach
6 green onions, freshly sliced
1/3 cup cilantro, chopped
2 tsp. cumin
3 cups shredded cheese
8 large flour tortillas

Directions
Preheat oven to 375.
Make the sauce: in a saucepan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add tomato paste, cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder. Cook one minute, whisking. Whisk in broth, bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer, and cook until slightly thickened, about 8 minutes. Salt/pepper to taste and set aside.

Sautee the spinach in olive oil over medium heat for 1-2 minutes until slightly wilted.
In a large bowl, combine beans, 2 cups cheese, spinach, corn, green onions, cumin and cilantro. (This is a beautiful, colorful masterpiece, when all combined.)
Lightly spray 9x13 inch baking dish and pour a small amount of the sauce to coat the bottom.
Generously fill tortillas with mixture, roll up tightly with ends tucked in and place seam side down in dish. Pour remaining sauce over the enchiladas, coating evenly. Sprinkle one cup of cheese on top.
Bake about 20 minutes and garnish with green onion/cilantro.

Also freezer friendly! Freeze enchiladas and sauce separately and go to the garden grazer website (link above) for heating instructions. All three of my guys, including my 4-year-old (picky eater) and 1-year-old, ate these up! I love that they were getting a superfood like spinach and other good stuff. The boys each ate half an enchilada and Brandon and I each ate one and were full. I just served them with chips and hot sauce, because we didn't need anything else. Now we have lots of delicious leftovers. Winner, winner, enchilada dinner!

Here are some other recipes I tried this week and will definitely do again! These three are from Better Homes & Gardens. I also discovered that we are all four fans of sweet peppers. Yay Vitamin C + delicious goodness!

• Crispy Fish & Peppers I used tilapia & no lemon.
• Chicken-Noodle Casserole This was a little bit more involved than I anticipated but it was worth it! My sauce didn't thicken as much as I wanted, so next time I will add more flour so it is more casserole and less soup. I also don't have a dutch oven but used a cast iron skillet with a lid that worked great!
• Fall Vegetable Fajitas Three of my favorite things in the three-word title! You may be surprised to learn that one of the main ingredients is steak. Not vegetarian-friendly, if made according to the recipe...and I am a rule-follower, so bring on the meat! We had been at the park, so when we got home T minus 45 minutes to dinner and I looked up the recipe, you can imagine my response when I read Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours tossing once. Oops. Oh well, I mixed the marinade and added the ingredients to it as I chopped them up. It worked. I didn't have chile-lime hot sauce, so I just left it out and added some worchestershire (mmmm). I didn't grill this time and used the cast iron on the stove. Worked great and also a hit with the fam...so delish! Only drawback...no leftovers. :(

Tomorrow I'm trying cauliflower pizza bites, so I'll hold off on posting until I see how it goes. If you have recipes that are your go-to's and fit my criteria of being inexpensive, fairly easy to prepare, kid-friendly and somewhat healthy, please share!!!

When Life Gets Messy

As I stood at the sink tonight giving my precious baby boy a bath, I was getting water all over everything, including my shirt. The same shirt that I went hiking in earlier with my family, which got soaked in rain and sweat, as I carried Luke in a backpack carrier. The same shirt I wore as I cooked breakfast (wait, no, I was still in my pj's). The same shirt I wore as I went about my whole day playing, feeding and caring for my family. Now, we were nearing evening and yet more messes continued to be created. Immediately after sighing, a big smile spread across my face and I stopped thinking about the mess and focused on the precious, beautiful miracle in front of me as he splashed, smiled, laughed and talked to me. What a joy! Without being messy, what fun do we have? What do we learn? What do we do? We miss out...on living, on creating and on getting messy!

A couple of nights ago, Brandon was gone, and the boys and I made brownies. I was holding Luke in one arm, attempting to keep him from grabbing everything within reach. Calvin wanted to do it all, and just couldn't wait to crack the eggs. One cracked in his hands and he held it to his chest trying to keep it from going everywhere (which actually just made it worse). I couldn't help from just laughing out loud. We didn't even stop to clean it up. We just took off his shirt and kept going! Once the brownies were in the oven and the baby was in bed, my shirtless little boy sat at the table eating brownie batter from the bowl and my heart overflowed with joy. What sweet moments I would have missed if I had reacted in anger, frustration or stress over a small thing like an egg cracked and spilled on the floor! It's definitely not just about me. My children are watching how I will respond to situations and they take their cues from us. I want to teach them that it's ok to get messy and it's ok to mess up. It's inevitable. The importance lies in what we do with it and what we allow God to do in us through the mess.

I read an excerpt today from Good Morning Girls's Whitney. I'm not doing the current bible study, but I've done many of them and if you have never checked them out, I strongly encourage you to do it: Click here or find them on Facebook. AH-MA-ZING! Anyway, this is from today's blog post:

"I've learned over the years that all-together people don't exist. And I've also learned that even if they did, I don't want to be one of them. In my weakness, I've seen more of Christ, and He is more beautiful than before. I've watched Him weave this grace-laced story--messy and twisted underneath--into a magnificent, intentional and clearer presentation for the world to see more of Jesus in me. I've learned that the world doesn't need one more fake all-together Jesus-follower. The world just needs Jesus." ~Whitney

I like order and organization. I don't mind cleaning, but I don't love a huge mess that I know I will have to clean up later (especially if I just cleaned that space). But when I read these beautiful, simple words that Whitney penned, full of truth and grace, how can I not want to be a mess that Christ can transform into something exquisite?

So, whether it's an accident when my 3-year-old spills his entire plate of food in his lap and all over the floor because he's learning independence (and I'm learning patience). Or, it's messy finances where God is truly teaching us to trust His provision and rely on His faithfulness. If it's a fight with a loved one and harsh words are spoken, God can teach us to forgive by borrowing from His abundance of grace and mercy. There is always a lesson, if we just pay attention.

In the tapestry of our lives, it's always messy underneath, and the sooner we realize that it's ok and accept it, the more quickly our vision and perspective will adjust to see the magnificent treasure that Christ is weaving our lives into on the other side. And when you're in what seem to be the messiest parts of life, hold onto hope, because when God is finished with it, that will be one of the most amazing masterpieces of all.

the pre-schooler in all of us

I watch my 3-year-old son and my 4-year-old nephew interact with my 10-month-old. They are so loving toward him and in awe of him. They fight over giving him hugs and kisses and giving him toys and food and other things he doesn't always need. It's usually really sweet. Until he interferes with their plans or their stuff, as babies tend to do. Then, they are ready for him to go. "Will you pick him up and take him away?", they'll ask. He is no longer welcome in their play area. Often I will see the older boys sit in front of him with a toy and start playing with it, within his reach. The next second they are whining to me that Luke is trying to get their toy. It's so logical to me that the wisdom of that move was absent when you brought the toy and put it right in front of him and then expected him to not reach for it.

Sometimes I get frustrated and cannot understand how it's possible that they don't see the cause and effect relationships at play here. Then, I begin to see how we, as adults, do many of the same things. Let's take change, for example. I tend to welcome change, but only when it's on my terms. I love to move furniture around, try a new restaurant, travel and try new things. I don't even need a rigid, structured schedule all the time. However, if there is a plan in place and someone attempts to change that plan, especially at the last minute, I am not a happy camper. I like follow through, I want people to do their part and I want to stick to the plan. I, I, I sound like a pre-schooler, as if the world revolves around me.

We say this a lot at our house. There are times when I need to say it to myself.

Another instance is the temptations I allow into my life. Just like the boys want to be close to Luke and play next to him, they really don't want to share with him or let him get too close. I do it with food. I sit by the bag of chips long enough to finish them, knowing I don't want the consequences of that but I just get too close and sit with the temptation. I do it with exercise by sitting down and getting involved in a project, TV show or book instead of intentionally putting on my running shoes. I do it with my quiet time, by keeping my priorities in close proximity to me. My phone, computer or the remote is most likely within arm's reach. My bible, however, is usually on the shelf and not the first thing I reach for.

So, when I am tempted to become frustrated with my 3-year-old because he doesn't 'get it', I am reminded that there are times that I don't either. Or I choose to ignore it. I remember that I sometimes pout when things don't go my way. I can be selfish and particular about details that aren't really important. I even mindlessly put things in front of me that I know aren't good for me and will not yield the results I want. It helps me to remember that I, like Calvin, still have a lot to learn about life: letting things go, treating people as more important than plans and being kind and generous is always a good idea.

Questions 3-year-olds ask

As I was tucking Calvin in last night, we sang 'the candle song' which he always requests (take your candle, run to the darkness, seek out the hopeless, confused and torn. carry your candle for all to see. take your candle and go light your world) Those are the only words we sing because they're the only ones I know. Then, I prayed. This was our conversation after I finished praying...

C: Mommy, is it snowing at Jesus's house? (It's been snowing all day here.)
Me: I don't know if it's snowing in Heaven, sweetie.
C: Is that where Jesus and God live?
Me: Yes.
C: But I don't see God.
Me: We will see Him someday when we go to Heaven.
C: Why not 10 days?
Me: Well, we have to die to go to Heaven, and we will live on Earth until then.
C: Why do we have to live on Earth?
Me: God has put us here to live and tell people about Jesus until He calls us home to Heaven. Heaven is our real home.
C: Will you sleep with me? I'm scary. (He means 'scared'.)

Calvin asks "Why?" about 1,500 times a day. He asks so many questions that he doesn't listen for the answer to and doesn't really want to know. He just likes to talk. It gets really frustrating sometimes and so many times I just want to ignore him or tell him to never ask why again. However, when he asks me questions about Jesus, I just soak it in and I want him to ask more. If he really wanted to stall at bedtime, which he always does, he should just ask a million questions about Jesus and I would stay with him and talk to him about it all night long. I love that he's interested and so much of the time I see that the wheels are turning, but every once in a while I get a glimpse into his thoughts, and it is a precious gift.

This video is old but good. Click Here to see a younger version of Calvin as he is first discovering who Jesus is.

Mother's Day

Happy Mom's Day!

My beautiful mom is my biggest supporter and encourager, my inspiration and my best friend. I am so blessed and so thankful to have such an exquisite example of a Proverbs 31 woman. She listens when I need to talk. She offers advice and wisdom all the times that I so desperately need it. She reminds me of God's infinite love for me and His wonderful plan for my life. She tells me that I am a good wife and a good mom when I feel inadequate. I do not deserve her, but am grateful that God chose her to be my mom.

I am equally honored to be called "Mommy" by these two precious boys. (Of course, Luke can't say it yet. I thought maybe that would be his gift to me today!) I am amazed by these two many moments each and every day. 

Calvin is loving and sincere, always concerned about others. He is affectionate and loves to snuggle, read books and tell his family how much he loves us. He is adventurous but cautious and does things on his own terms and in his own time. He is reserved and observant much of the time, but he also loves to sing, dance, jump on the trampoline and play any and every sport.

Luke's personality is beginning to show, and he is going to be a beautiful mess! He is fearless and loud. He is a baby of extremes, like his daddy. He gets really happy and excited, really mad and cranky and really sad. He is on the move all the time. He does everything with all that he has...he plays hard, sleeps hard and loves with all his might. 

I will forever be thankful for the gift God has given me in these two precious sons.

And then there's this wonderful, amazing man. He got up at 5am this morning to get me beautiful flowers and a precious card that brought tears to my eyes, before I even woke up. We talked about a family and children and dreamed about what our family would be before we were married. Because of him, I get to be a mom and I get to parent with an awesome daddy. I could never dream up someone that I would rather do life with. I love the adventures we have had and look forward to what God has in store. 

Today on Mother's Day, and every day, my heart is full.