Balance. This is what I need, what we all need. With food, yes. Also in other areas of life, like family, work, physical exercise, fun, rest and relationships. I think especially with media and entertainment, we have to find a balance or the consequences prove to be catastrophic. Brandon and I are very balanced in the form of shows we watch. We watch a very intense show (The Brave, This is Us, The Crown) and always follow it up with a lighter one (Friends, Big Bang Theory). I'm glad we have such an important aspect of our lives figured out. I'm sure the rest of the areas will work out on their own.
I'm not sure if I should still be entitling this 'Intermittent Fasting', because I'm not really sticking to the plan. It's still a journey and I'm committed to documenting what I'm learning. It just looks a little different than I expected.
One thing I have already begun to see gradually changing is my appetite. Portion control is something I have struggled with for a long time. If something tastes really good to me, I become more about quantity rather than savoring and enjoying it. Lately, I've been much more satisfied with much less. I've been so much more aware of what I'm putting into my body. That doesn't mean I never eat anything with bad stuff in it. I think awareness is powerful, though, and it definitely causes me to be slower to indulge and sometimes partake at all, if I know something is packed with calories or sugar or simple carbs. The 80s commercials were right—knowledge is power. I more often crave things that are healthy and taste good to me. I've taken the time to get more adventurous and find things that I like and don't have to later feel guilty about eating. Even the times when I have returned to old comfort foods, they aren't as satisfying anymore. Sometimes they even upset my stomach physically. They aren't as tempting as that used to be, and I count that as progress.
The more healthy choices I make, the better I feel afterward and that feeling becomes like an addiction. It's rewarding and it turns into a cycle of thoughtful choices about what I'm putting into my body, which helps me to feel positive and gives me more energy, which makes me want to make more healthy choices…and so on.
I do want to continue with the intermittent fasting schedule, because I can see good things happening. Some of it is mental and emotional ties to food for me. Some of it is needing to be in better health physically. I can be legalistic in my personality at times, so I adopt this 'all in' mentality. It can be a good thing, or it can cause me to set unrealistic expectations and end up being destructive. I wanted to count every calorie, fast the same days every week, all day and then start back to the gym (weeks ago now). Things just haven't happened that way, because life. My kids have been sick and needed me, so I've missed work and then returned to work and been exhausted. It's right in the middle of basketball season for my coach husband. I'm the first one to say 'No excuses.' I'm also able to see these are my current realities.
Now that I have spent a couple of weeks of sticking to the plan pretty rigidly, I am ready to continue forward but with (a little) less structure. I still want to log what I'm eating, not because I'm aiming for a specific number of calories and percentage of macros. It's more to keep me aware of what I'm eating and accountable to stay within a reasonable range. This is something that is helpful so I don't lose track, which can easily happen. I still want to fast two days a week, but I'm ok with that looking different. Instead of staying within 500 calories from morning through evening, sometimes it may mean going from dinner one night through lunch the next day. I am still determined to start exercising again, and I'm hopeful that next week my family's health will lend itself to that in a more accommodating way. I don't want to exercise because I feel obligated, but it's something I enjoy and truly makes me feel better and have more energy. I'm looking forward to getting back in that routine of challenging myself…I've missed it for a while. It's also a GREAT reason to get some alone time for a working mama.
Today started out promising with my overnight oats (at least until I actually read the label…sugar and carbs, oh my—no wonder they're so good). I took a healthy lunch, which stayed in the fridge at work while I ordered Leal's with co-workers. I planned to make a healthy dinner, but when my daughter ended up in urgent care again, and I had to pick up her medication at dinner time, I also picked up dinner. My 7 year old was all but salivating over the fried chicken, mac and cheese and dinner rolls. If I had to guess how many times he said "This is SOOOOOOO good!!!" while eating, I would guess 796. I did refrain from the rolls and the mac and cheese…I just opted for the loaded potatoes instead.
To be holistically healthy individuals, it's important that we take care of our minds, bodies and spirits. It's also important that we are kind to others and kind to ourselves. The latter is usually more difficult.
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